oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
