She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
