chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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