are you still at the devil's house?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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