Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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