Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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