Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
