I feel like abortions should bother me more
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
