How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
