herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I think I sprained my soul last night
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
