What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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