I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
