I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize