I'm gonna have a badass scar
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
