Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
