Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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