im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Randomize
