I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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