i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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