Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
