It's like God shit irony all over that family
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Your cock deserves a montage
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
