i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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