just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
