omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
