He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
