i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
