He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
