I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
