i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
