im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
