I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
