They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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