Porn is love you can see.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
