everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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