She went from zero to smokin in five shots
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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