I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
