Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
