You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
