you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
God, I missed his penis.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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