i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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