just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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