That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
