I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
