Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
