I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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