to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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