I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
