I must be too annoying 4 u.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
