Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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