I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
