I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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