I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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