After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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