8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
