It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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