It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
