Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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